Opting out of Halloween. We did, should you?

I watched my almost 20-year-old carve a pumpkin for the first time this weekend, and it was quite humorous. We joked about how he was deprived of any prior experience due to his parent’s opt-out of Halloween and anything related. We giggled and had fun at his expense, but it did take me back to the years of parenting after our initial Halloween-boycott decision. It was actually this particular child of mine who brought me to turn a sensitive ear to the Holy Spirit’s conviction after watching him spend a fearful Halloween night as a toddler.

I’m in quite a comfortable place on this subject. I’ve found that, after somewhere around 18 years of parenting five kids sans Halloween, I have absolutely no regrets. I have absolutely no apologies. I have absolutely no room for arguments on how silly our stance is. What I do have, is the confidence to speak frankly to fellow Christians. I’m passed the years of having to explain to other parents, teachers, and yes…fellow believers why my children will not be in attendance or participating in anything that so much hints at Halloween. They are now all old enough to hear the Holy Spirit speak over them in regards to decisions such as this. But, here’s the thing, some of you are in the midst of that stage of life, and I remember the conflict. I remember the odd looks that spoke, “Woman, you are one paranoid, religious freak”! If you are there, stand firm, do not for one minute compromise on a conviction the Lord has laid upon your heart.

I’ll share with you where we came from. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to lean into the “What’s it going to hurt, it’s all just fun” camp. YOU get to choose and YOU also get to answer to God as to why you participate in things that fly in the face of His Word. Whoa! I just said you might be operating contrary to His word. Are you readying your darts, girlfriend? Stop now, take a deep breath, and pray that beyond reading what my possible inflammatory words, you hear the Holy Spirit. Listen very carefully for his direction for you and yours in this matter.

First off, we took a look at the origins of the holiday. How is it there came to be a Halloween? Let’s go back 2,000 years ago. The Celtic people from what is now Ireland, the UK, and Northern France, had a new year which began on November 1st. On that eve, October 31st, they celebrated the Festival of Samhein. This was a full out invitation to participate in and acceptance of pagan (that means satanic) practices. Let me share one of the more concise explanations I’ve found and take note, I’m quoting Encyclpedia Britannica, not a religious source of information. I chose this description so it is void of “religious distortion”. I want you to first look from a history student’s viewpoint.

Samhain, also spelled Samain, (Celtic: “End of Summer”), one of the most important and sinister calendar festivals of the Celtic year. At Samhain, held on November 1, the world of the gods was believed to be made visible to mankind, and the gods played many tricks on their mortal worshipers; it was a time fraught with danger, charged with fear, and full of supernatural episodes. Sacrifices and propitiations of every kind were thought to be vital, for without them the Celts believed they could not prevail over the perils of the season or counteract the activities of the deities. Samhain was an important precursor to Halloween.

It would take me more words, and you more time than we have here so, I challenge you to do some research on your own. Just about everything we see in our present day Halloween observance is taken from the pagan practices of the Celtic people. Masks, bonfires, bobbing for apples, candy, carved pumpkins….it all originated from this. That scary mask or face paint? Yeah, that’s to trick the evil ghosts roaming the earth on the 31st into believing you are also dead. Really, take some time and research this.

People, if it’s not of God, then it’s of Satan. Its black or white. If it incites fear, it is Satan!
Since that time, the church, yes, the church (i.e. All Saints Day), has tweaked the practice, twisted the intent, made it more palatable, and in our day, made it a mega-million dollar business.

Halloween is the 2nd most commercial holiday coming in only after Christmas, the celebration of our Savior’s birth! It is estimated 6 BILLION dollars are spent on costumes and candy here in the United States.

Let me ask you this, what would happen if that 6 billion were spent to further the kingdom of God in missions and outreach? Another question, how is it that a celebration founded in a pagan religion has become endearing to Christian families?

Beyond the money, though, is my deep concern for our want to flow with societal “norms” when God gives us very clear directives in his word about those things we should align ourselves with and those he finds detestable. I’m concerned with the ease at which we become stupid sheep following a cleverly disguised lion wanting to devour us.

In Deuteronomy 18, God is reviewing his laws with the Israelites and reminding them of the covenant of love he has established with them. They are going to be encountering all sorts of pagan neighbors in the promised land. He says this:

Deuteronomy 18:9
When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord, and because of these detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the Lord your God.

This scripture is not intended to be “no longer in effect” after Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross that freed us from law. This isn’t a “what meat you can eat kind of scripture”. This is absolutely not in the “freedom to do or not to do” category. When we read this, we should be seeing our Holy, Pure, One True God demanding our total devotion to Him and His ways. We should see his instruction to not defile ourselves by adopting detestable ways. Is endorsement of Halloween imitating such a thing?

Ephesians 5: 6-13
Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them; for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.

And then there is this.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

If you shine the light of the Word over the practice of Halloween, do you still want to partake? Maybe. Maybe not. I can tell you this, I have five kids, some are adults now and none of them are traumatized by not dressing up in costumes and gorging on candy. Two of them were well indoctrinated in Halloween fun when we cut them off. In fact, those of ours who are parenting have made some of these same choices. Together, our kids, my husband, and I learned how to unashamedly explain our decision to be “different”, to leave school on party day, to not do certain art projects, or read certain books leading up to Halloween. We had frank discussions about why we chose this and what God’s word says about these things. That included haunted houses and slasher movies. Often, that meant me being very direct and firm with teachers but that’s okay. I think God is being very direct and firm when he tells us this:

1 Thessalonians 5: 21-22
But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.

Remember who made the apple and all the power of knowledge that came with the crispy bite so attractive? Satan is a master disguiser. All things look good when we view it through the deceiver’s lens. Has he camouflaged Halloween and draped it in the costume of innocent fun? Has he whispered the originations of the day don’t mean a thing to our generation? Because if you believe that, then why should Easter be relevant?

Look, all of this can apply to so many areas of our lives, so why am I picking on good Ole Halloween? Well, it’s that time of year. Haunted houses popping up everywhere, gruesome decorations, trips through the store setting off all sorts of ghoulish sounds from scary things, and because it is blatant. We may have to seek harder, pray more fervently, and be entirely more transparent to fellow believers to tease out other areas of our lives that are out of line with God’s call to purity but this one….this one is a sell out. It is loud and proud! Satan makes it easy to fall in yet God has made it easy to sort out. Maybe it’s time for you and your’s to get out.

I was once trying to plan an alternative to Halloween at a church we had attended when a woman sharply said, “Your children are only going to have a problem with Halloween because you’ve planted that seed in their heads”. I am proud to say she was right! Dear parent, that is your job! Plant the seeds of nonconformity to worldly standards and societal norms in your kids’ heads! Show them throughout your precious and fleeting time with them that non participation in things the world sees as oh so benign is exactly what world changers do!

By the way, I don’t advocate staying at home in the dark and requiring the kids to clean the basement during Trick or Treat hours. I may have tried that one year. Oops. Plan some amazing family time. I have a feeling the memories from precious time spent together will last far longer than the memory of what costume they wore in 2015.

Becoming Nothing for Everything: An open letter to mothers of special needs kids.

Dear Tired Momma,

As I sink into the hot water, exhausted, and all is silent except for the ticking of the wall clock,  I also feel myself sinking into the nothingness that comes in battle.  It’s a familiar place yet one I hate to revisit. ” Again, Lord?”  “But Lord, I thought we were good!”

You know it well.  Life was operating at the status quo, your norm, and then……

So, as I soak in this tub, I start strapping on psychological armor, turning off emotions, allowing nothingness to envelope me, I’m struck by the contrast of emptying myself to the soothing warmth of the water covering my weary body.

Nothingness asks for you to be clinical, concise, goal directed, and it often turns you icy.  Nothingness is when your own fear means nothing.  Your own desires mean nothing.  Your own future plans mean nothing.

Your own desires are nothing….because Everything is on the line…again.

Everything is what you do.  Everything has come to define you even when you fight for your freedom.  Everything needs the systematic, robotic approach.  Everything requires all of you.  Everything results in you turning into a cold and calculated assassin, taking out what ever threatens your EverythingEverything can turn you into the crazy mother, fist pounding the table, steely-eyed, and demanding words spoken in a voice that doesn’t sound like our own while glassy-eyed professionals watch you, but you know that Everything needs you to fight with every ounce of strength she doesn’t have.   

Everything survives when you are willing to become Nothing.  THAT, sister, is sacrificial love.

I’d say that’s pretty Christ-like parenting, right there.

Momma of a special one, your shoulders drop and you sigh as you read this because you know, don’t you?

I’m not writing to be psychologically correct, I’m leaving that to the professionals.  I’m writing because it’s when we are raw and honest and transparent that our struggles can be used for good.  It’s when we get brave and share what we hold in secret that we can give another momma some hope, something to cling to!

Yes, I know you don’t feel anything but a bone-deep fatigue.  I know you don’t feel that sweet momma love that comes with our tiny innocents.  I know you can’t find joy in your Everything right now.

Yes, I know you feel enormous guilt because you can’t find that all-consuming love and that palpable joy that is instinctive to mothers.

Yes, I know the tears flow in spite of a disconnect to any true and identifiable emotion.

Yes, I know that in spite of covering those previous battle wounds with the band-aids of experience, the scabs are getting scraped off and the oozing is just a slow trickle of sadness from somewhere deep within.

I want to suggest you don’t feel tender love at this present time because God is holding your heart out of your chest.  Its weight is simply too much for you.  Its wild beating must be calmed by the very One who created it, by the One who created your Everything.  Its screaming, raw emotions are too much for you to comprehend, to contain. You can’t be directed by it!  So, He holds it while you and your nothingness go to work…to battle.

When you are ready, He stands with his open hands, holding your beautiful, intact heart, and releasing it back to you. He has infused it with all His love, and it is overflowing, ready to abundantly pour over your Everything.  That’s the beauty of it!  We never have to remain in that empty place!  God has all you need, oh he is champion of HIS beloved Everything.  Remember, it is His Spirit within you who has given you the strength to wage war on His child’s behalf.

  Your Everything was His Everything before the start of time.

For now, allow yourself to crawl up onto Abba’s lap.  Allow Him to wrap you in his arms.  When a quiet moment comes, and it will come, go there.  Sit with Him while he holds your heart.  Cry with Him.  Rest in Him.  Accept His peace.  Give him Everything, for he loves her more than you do.  Give him your nothingness, and he will give you your full and rested heart.

Sister, this is a way of life we moms of special ones need to embrace.  Our Everythings require much, but our Abba is bigger than all the heartaches, disappointments, failures, and flat out scary unknowns special needs can throw at us.

Know, this day, that what you are doing will always make a difference, even if you don’t see it on this side of heaven.

Know, this day, that all the days you become nothing to benefit your Everything are pleasing to your Lord.

 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’  Matthew 25.40  NLT

Know, this day, that you are not alone.

With love,

Everything’s momma